My dad was not the best man around, he wouldn't drop everything for his friends, he wouldn't give to the needy at a drop of a dime. He wasn't perfect but he had a kind heart, he had an idea to buy an apartment complex for battered and beaten woman. He had the thought to buy a lot of farm land and have inmates earn their stay at prison by growing their own food, given they would probably need to be on some form of good behavior but it would spare tax payers millions if not billions in food every year.
Well, shortly before my sons 1st birthday he became ill. We thought it was just a cold but he didn't get better. He had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and finally got diabetes. He was not in the best shape but you wouldn't think it by looking at him. He rarely let anyone know he was sick and if he did he wouldn't let you know the severity of it. Well, he went to the Dr and she told him that he had pneumonia. Gave him some meds but no x-ray and sent him home, the meds reacted badly with other meds and he became dehydrated and bloated. He began retaining water. He couldn't urinate but still, you wouldn't think it was that bad, with him sneaking a smoke in the bathroom at the hospital, he was invincible, at least to us. So he had to watch his diet, the sugar and salt intake mostly.
Finally we got word that he had water around his heart, that he had water around his lungs and several other organs. So they did test after test, all along telling him that he would be able to go home soon. Then it happened, Cancer. Still they told us he would be going in for treatment, they went into his chest and drained the water. He had no less than 3 liters of water in his body, nowhere it was suppose to be. I got nagged about visiting him but I had a family to think about and could take my son all the way out there everyday, that was not reasonable to me, I knew my dad, he hated people changing for him. He never wanted people going out of their way for him and he hated borrowing money. So, I kept my life going and visited him when I could. Then we got a call saying that he had taken a turn for the worse, he was told he would go home the next day. The night before he past he was in so much pain he was crying, not once in my life have I ever seen him cry, I don't think I saw him cry when his mother past. He was in so much pain. I went down as soon as I could, I almost didn't lock the door of my apartment. I went out there and I was in the room for a while before he woke up, barely conscious, I told him that I loved him and I could barely make out the syllables for I Love You coming from his mouth. That was the last thing he noticeably said to anyone. The nursing staff was understaffed to take care of him and despite the recommendations from the nurse to move him to a floor that had the man power but he wasn't moved. I have seen scepcis twice before and the Dr told me it wasn't. I knew what it was but when my aunt arrived the Dr told her that he had infections, the Dr told me he had Cancer threw-out his chest but not that he had an infection. We made the decision to give him the medicine hoping that he would last at least the night. We went home, a hospital is no place for a 14 month old, esp for sleeping. I was getting everything ready for bed, my son was in his PJ's and everything when we got the call that we were loosing him. His fiancee's daughter and her bf came as fast as possible to pick us up. We got stuck in traffic, in the dead center of the distance between here and the hospital we got stuck because of construction and got the text that he had past. We ran threw the hospital, I don't remember running faster or the world being slower. I got there to him, with his brother and sisters, not crying but his fiancee, her daughter, me and my sister couldn't stop the tears.
My dad ate what he wanted, smoked my whole life, drank until I was a few years old and rarely went to the Dr's. He ended up with High Cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, Cancer and finally death. I don't remember my grandpa, his dad, and now my son won't remember his grandfather. So, please, please, please take this as a warning, partying is fun but there comes a day when you have to look at your life and decide how old you want to live and what you want your quality of life to be when you get to that point. I am starting to change but slowly, I am borderline high cholesterol already and I know my dad doesn't want to see me go down a bad path. If his story can spare anyone from being hurt as badly as this family has been than I will shout it from every street corner, it is hard to relive it and I cried several times while writing this but sometimes things need to be said to help others.
